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Pro Positive!

I chose to be joyful & grateful.
It all makes sense, this self discovering journey is over.
We'll be seeing each other very soon love.
I know it, I feel it, I'm living it.
It's all at my fingertips.

Watch out universe, here I am.
& I'm excited! :)


I'm on the right track baby, I was born this way.
Had to quote Lady GaGa, haha!

Complete Happiness, I am so blessed.
Thank You Jesus!

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Apparently, I attempted to update my journal this weekend?! When I was pretty drunk, I remember now but I don't remember what I wanted to say... I got on my app this is what was stored:

"I just don't know how I feel about that, yea in wasted abd I'll be te perfect 'woofer' but "fucjlilm you, love!"

Hahaha hilarious! WTF is woofer? All I know was this weekend was crazy amazingly fun. I had a blast. I met new people didn't get a tan :/ I'm still pretty white but it was good and so relaxing by day and eventful at night. We had tons and tons of booze it was ridiculous. Definitely 'pre spring break' I'm actually afraid of spring break after this weekend. How will I ever top that? At least I'll see more familiar faces during SB but it's gonna be nuts! I'm excited. The next few weeks/months are jammed packed. Still haven't made a decision about moving, I am visiting this weekend though. Then it's just crazy til then. Agh gotta get back to work!

Oh P.S. my brother is moving to North Carolina after all, I'm so excited and happy for him, yet so sad my lil baby bro is so grown up. Considered moving with him but I just want to be alone right now. NC is too far, but I hear the weathers nice.

Back to reality & schedules. :)

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Music. Makes. Me.

I Need A Doctor ~ Eminem
Feat. Dr. Dre & Skylar Grey

I'm about to lose my mind
You've been gone for so long
I'm running out of time
I need a doctor
Call me a doctor
I need a doctor, doctor
To bring me back to life

I told the world, one day I would pay it back.
Say it on tape and lay it, record it, so that one day I could play it back.
But I don't even know if I believe it when I'm saying that.
Doubt startin' to creep in, everyday it's just so grey and black.
Hope, I just need a ray of that
'Cause no one sees my vision
When I play it for 'em, they just say it's wack.
But they don't know what dope is.
And I don't know if I was awake or asleep when I wrote this.
All I know is you came to me when I was at my lowest.
You picked me up, breathed new life in me. I owe my life to you.
Before the life of me, I don't see why you don't see like I do.

But it just dawned on me; you lost a son. See this light in you? It's dark.
Let me turn on the lights and brighten me and enlighten you.
I don't think you realize what you mean to me, not the slightest clue.
'Cause me and you, we're like a crew. I was like your sidekick.
You gon' either wanna fight when I get off this fucking mic,
Or you gon' hug me. But I'm out of options, there's nothing else I can do cause...

I'm about to lose my mind
You've been gone for so long
I'm running out of time
I need a doctor
Call me a doctor
I need a doctor, doctor
To bring me back to life

It hurts when I see you struggle.
You come to me with ideas.
You say that these are pieces, so I'm puzzled.
'Cause the shit I hear is crazy,
But you're either getting lazy, or you don't believe in you no more.
Seems like your own opinions, not one you can form.
Can't make a decision, you keep questioning yourself,
Second guessing, and it's almost like your begging for my help.
Like, I'm YOUR leader.
You're supposed to f-cking be MY mentor.
I can endure no more!
I demand you remember who you are!
It was YOU, who believed in me,
When everyone was telling you, don't sign me.
Everyone at the fucking label, lets tell the truth.
You risked your career for me, I know it as well as you.

Nobody wanted to fuck with the white boy...
Dre, I'm crying in this booth.

You saved my life, now maybe it's my time to save yours.
But I can never repay you, what you did for me is way more.

But I ain't giving up faith, and you ain't giving up on me.
Get up Dre! I'm dying, I need you, come back for fuck's sake.

I'm about to lose my mind
You've been gone for so long
I'm running out of time
I need a doctor
Call me a doctor
I need a doctor, doctor
To bring me back to life

[Dr Dre]
It literally feels like a lifetime ago
But I still remember the shit like it was just yesterday though
You walked in, yellow jump suit
Whole room, cracked jokes
Once you got inside the booth, told you, like smoke
Went through friends, some of them I put on
But they just left, they said was riding to the death
But where the fuck are they now
Now that I need them, I don't see none of them
All I see is Slim
Fuck all you fairweather friends
All I need is him
Fucking backstabbers
When the chips were down, you just laughed at us
Now you bout to feel the fucking wrath of aftermath, faggots
You gon' see us in our lab jackets and ask where the fuck we been?
You can kiss my indecisive ass crack maggots and the crackers ass
Little cracker jack beat making wack math,
Backwards producers, I'm back bastards
One more CD and then I'm packing up my bags and as I leave
And I guarantee they'll scream, Dre don't leave us like that man cause...

Im about to lose my mind
You've been gone for so long
I'm running out of time
I need a doctor
Call me a doctor
I need a doctor, doctor
To bring me back to life
Bring me back to life
Bring me back to life

I know this song isn't about love at all, but some of the lyrics I just feel that way. Some remind me a friendships. Im just in lve with it right now. I love the way Skylar sings, I love eminem and of course Dr. Dre. They're just so talented with words and expressing themselves. I feel it. I just love music so damn much and appreciate all kinds of music, mainly the lyrics but when you have good lyrics/words and you sing it with such passion and emotion that I can feel it. Just makes it so much better. To know that they're human and go through things just like me and you when they have everything. It's just so amazing.
I also LOVE the fact that I can hear a song feel a certain way, then listen to it again years later and feel the exact same way, or see it a whole different way understand it better. Agh I just love it!


Music. Makes. Me!

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Ain't life funny.

Things have been crazy, like a slap in the face. On a brighter note, I may be moving back to Austin after all. :)

the dust is finally settling!

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It's funny how I listen to EVERYTHING all kinds/types of music. I went to a show this weekend and saw The Ataris a band I loved when I was 14 sang all his songs then they started playing Alice and chains, 311, sublime, 50 cent, pitbull.. and I sang and danced to all those songs too. It's just funny how I enjoy it. This song crossed my mind, it's in Spanish! But I decided to post it :) sorry for all the lyrics, well I'm really not.. music but music is my life.

Eres - Cafe Tacuba

Eres lo que mas quiero en este mundo, eso eres,

Mi pensamiento mas profundo, también eres,
Tan sólo dime lo que hago, aquí me tienes.

Eres cuando despierto lo primero, eso eres,
Lo que a mi vida le hace falta si no veines

Lo único, preciosa, que mi mente habita hoy.

Qué mas puedo decirte, tal vez puedo mentirte sin razón,
Pero lo que hoy siento es que sin ti estoy muerto,
Pues eres lo que mas quiero en este mundo, eso eres.

Eres el tiempo que comparto, eso eres,
Lo que la gente promete cuando se quiere
Mi salvación, mi esperanza y mi fe.

Soy el que quererte quiere como nodie soy,
El que te llevaría el sustento día a día, día a día,
El que por ti daría la vida, ese soy.

Aquí estoy a tu lado y espero aquí sentado hasta el final.
No te has imaginado lo que por ti he esperado
Pues eres lo que yo amo en este mundo, eso eres,
Cada minuto en lo que pienso, eso eres,
Lo que más cuido en este mundo, eso eres.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

True Love.

True Love makes you feel like all the past 'loves' were mistakes and wrong. True Love makes it feel right. Everything with you Is sooo right.

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things.. and good things never die."

Expect the unexpected.

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"Not Like The Movies"  Katy Perry

He put it on me, I put it on,
Like there was nothing wrong.
It didn't fit,
It wasn't right.
Wasn't just the size.
They say you know,
When you know.
I don't know.

I didn't feel
The fairytale feeling, no.
Am I a stupid girl
For even dreaming that I could.

If it's not like the movies,
That's how it should be, yeah.
When he's the one,
I'll come undone,
And my world will stop spinning
And that's just the beginning, yeah.

Snow white said when I was young,
"One day my prince will come."
So I wait for that date.
They say its hard to meet your match,
Find my better half.
So we make perfect shapes.
If stars don't align,
If it doesn't stop time,
If you cant see the sign,
Wait for it.
One hundred percent,
With every penny spent.
He'll be the one that,
Finishes your sentences.

If it's not like the movies,
That's how it should be.
When he's the one,
He'll come undone,
And my world will stop spinning,
And that's just the beginning.

'Cause I know you're out there,
And you're, you're looking for me.
It's a crazy idea that you were made,
Perfectly for me you'll see.

Just like the movies.
That's how it will be.
Cinematic and dramatic with the perfect ending.
It's not like the movies,
But that's how it will be.
When he's the one,
You'll come undone,
And your world will stop spinning,
And it's just the beginning.

Happy Valentines Day Loves!

My world has stopped spinning,
& it's just the beginning.


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Almost forgot!

Had to post this super cuteness

Yes I got my nails did on my 'me' day (nails done, hair done, everything diid, oh I'm fancy huh!) and yes it's hello kitty with some bling bling on her bow. Too cute! People are jealous and I'm just so excited to show em off.

Silly people try to bring me down
Or tell me silliness, but it won't phase me
I'm just falling in looove with myself
More and more everyday. <3

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Take Sunday home.

Amazing service once again!
So thankful for being able to go and enjoy it, I swear the more I go the way better I feel and know I'm understood and of course, LOVED! I never thought church would have this much of an impact on my life. I always went to church as a kid and was told the stories but I did it mainly because I was taken. The fact that I choose to go as a 23yr old is nice, I just feel like I learn so much about things I've always wondered. He spoke about how we all get 'mixed up' an we go through things just to get a better flavor. I love love love his analogies! For so long I've been using and trying to use analogies to get my point across because I feel like people just don't get me but, I'm not alone. He spoke about how sometimes he gets angry or has a bad day and recaps it at the end of the night and comes to his senses that he was wrong and to be guided and tomorrows a new day. Such a great feeling and good mood. I love that he even jokes about football and shows/movies just makes it so enjoyable what a great messenger he is.I'm really loving sundays of all days and it's like he said, make everyday a Sunday, take sunday home.

Last night was so much fun, the weekends just keep getting better and better and i feel a lot closer to my friends an with everything going on, a lot closer to myself! Such a great weekend and going to end it with good company start the week off in a good way.

Hope everyone is safe, enjoy the game!
Enjoy your Sunday <3

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New New year.

As much as I wanted things to happen so so bad..
I'm relieved and glad they didn't
He really did make the right decision
God is giving me this time for me
Really, I need to get myself together!
I've been in and out of relationships for the past
6/7 years! How can someone not lose them self!
Especially to the people I was with before
Eeesh, it can really do some damage
I can't believe I let myself get this far
I can't say I regret it, I don't I learned some amazing,
Aaaaamazing lessons and felt ways I never felt before
At the gym today I remembered how much I really
Do miss dancing like I was a kid
Not so much the club type but just for fun
I had this urge to go running again too
Feel the wind hit against my face
Have my heart race so fast I couldn't keep up
Still keeping my stride with one leg in front of the other
Gosh, I really miss those days
I wish there were cute trails here like there is were I lived :/ agh so refreshing, I needed this
I'm pretty content with being alone
I need to be alone a bit longer though.
Completely alone to be myself and not worry
I'm not saying this just because of what happened
I guess that's why I'm not so sad?
I can't keep forcing these things
Rushing into them like I did
It's like Church this past Sunday
I have the plans and foundation laid out
Of my 'improved self' but I need to gather a few
More supplies before building everything

Slowly but surely. ;]

Oh and last depressing song to post!
I just really love it <3


You know it ain't easy
For these thoughts here to leave me
There's no words to describe it
In French or in English
Well, diamonds they fade
And flowers they bloom
And I'm telling you
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
They've been knockin' me out lately
Whenever you come around me
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
I keep thinking in a moment that
Time will take them away
But these feelings won't go away

Can't get it out of my head!

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speak to the heart, love.

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April 2014


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