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Most entries are, due to people finding out way too much.
this is nothing but the truth, where I vent
& chose to share my thoughts and opinions.


She's out of my league.

People kept saying how it would
never work out and eventually they believed it
It only takes two to tango
Everyone else can go eff themselves.

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Oh man!

It's been a while.
I've been afraid to post because I've been getting spammed like crazy on here. What's going on livejournal?

Anyway, I've been busy living life the way I was meant to... I was watching Khloe & Lamar and was thinking, I used to fight that way and the result was just was different from there's. Weird to think I had something so close yet still childish and immature. I was surprised and extremely thankful to see Lamar react like he did. Much more respect to him. That's the way it should be.

Ugh why do I even think about it, stupidity.

I'm feeling good about everything though.
Had an amazing birthday I'm so blessed to have the people who shared it with me even wish me one, when I didn't even have it posted. Shows who really does remember your birthday.

I really want to say something mean, but what for I don't have to.

I'm a much better person because of it.
Just look it me now, going places. ;)

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Great 'mini vacation' I don't want it to end! I don't want to go back to Texas. I need to update some 'issues' for my own venting, other than that it's been complete happiness! Went shopping and found out I'm at my realistic 'goal size' even after all the crap I've had all week. I want to go for more already and do the unthinkable goal size... What was unthinkable is now so completely doable! I'm excited to start this new goal. One of many of course. Life is so much nicer without the crap & baggage.

Should have done this forever ago.

Would of came back for you
I just needed time
To do what I have to do
Caught in a life
I can't let it go, whether that's right
I will never know
Hope you forgive me, never meant wrong
Tried to be patient and waited too long
But I woulda came back, but I woulda came back...

<3 Drake.

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I lost it.

I know I've haven't lived at home for almost 6 years. I know I should have been around more I know these things and I know he'll be back, I know it's only 2 years he's going to be okay... but when the hell did he grow up? And how did the time fly by so fast...

I remember when they first brought him home from the hospital and how excited I was, I begged for my parents to let me carry him. I was only 5 years old but I loved him already. I remember his first birthday, many birthdays. His reddish hair as a kid, how he wore a tie in Pre-K. The cutest kid I've ever seen to this day. I remember playing games on nintendo, 64, and the first playstation. We use to build NASCAR tracks together. We used to play together a lot when we were kid. Now I've come back and you're a man. Where did the time go by? Why can't we stay thats same little boy forever?

You're an amazing man with a heart of gold. You always make me laugh. I admire you so much for following your dreams and passion. God smiles on you everyday, inside and outside you're better than I am.

You're just gonna be far away for a while.
Chase your dreams but always know the road
That will lead you home again. Go on take on this whole world but to me you'll always be, my little bro <3

I'm gonna miss you, I love you so much.

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In a pickle!

I cleaned up my phone contacts the other day. I deleted over 100 people, saying if I can't determine who they are why have them... Now I'm screwed because old
friends are wanting to hang out, out of no where and I keep having to ask who they are. Geeez.

You have stolen my, heart <3

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Mar. 25th, 2011

468 Months ~ Slow Car Crash

468 months gone by
Can’t find the keys to get back in
Always love to visit though
With a sprinkle of bourbon to cure my hangover
Brings out that other me
...The one you found endearing
The one that says what he feels

I remember Rick, and Greg, and will
I remember listening to stories
I doubt were factual
More contractual in hopes of earning respect
Through tall tales of women and wine
Pretty sure it was all in their mind
But I respect the creativity
And ignore the need for a pat on the back
Too much luggage
I travel light

Smoking cigarettes while I sip my Jim
Splash of coke still caked on the nostril
While some distant song brings the element of youth
When was that? 30 some months ago?
I lost track…
Hard to count without consistency
Like 1,2 3
It all blends together like my bourbon, and coke, and this bar
Just like the Club, The Barrell, The Tank
I just know that we drank and talked and laughed and cried

And the months passed by
So did the miles in my van
Street signs and friends, and women
All means to an end
Jim Beam tastes the same
In Albuquerque, El Paso, and Maine
Like eliminating a sense
It blinds the memory from finding
Just where we were when we last heard this song
But I remember you
When I find the key
I hope you’ll let me come visit

Lovin it.

I convinced my family & friends to join me at the park. I've been wanting to go for days. We BBQed it went from 4 people to 14 and it was so fun. I just missed being outdoors, I've missed it a lot lately. I actually played some ball and got on swings and down the slide can't remember how long it's been. Funny how we all were saying it too. Sometimes it just fun to act like a kid and enjoy the outdoors, appreciate it. I'm actually quite jealous that this park is so awesome I wish parks were that awesome when I was younger. Sienna, my 6 month today niece, has really just opened my eyes on life without really doing anything. She's one of the main reasons I moved back down here. I want to be involved in her life and be a better person for her and myself. God forbid something happen to my sister & brother in law I just would want to be there for her. I've been a better person ever since she came into my life. I love her, she really completes my day. Her smile, anything and everything just makes life so.. Wonderful. She's our excuse to act like kids again, lol.
Sienna Elysse, you brought me back to life. Thank you.

I've come to love working out, I even do it on my own. Yea I'll have my lazy days but it's just so rewarding to me. Things are coming along perfectly. I'm just at this peace and always have a smile on my face, most of the time. I'm in love.

I know this peace is my spirit. It's growing and I couldn't be happier. I'm so blessed & lucky to experience this.


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My safari is acting extremely gay!

Past 2 weeks have been insane, with spring break and all that's going on. Agh, I love it though. I can't believe it's almost April!

Today was a good day, found a hidden park. Well it was shown to me. It made me miss being outside and reminded me how great the outdoors really are. I cant wait to go for a run there, the weather was so nice today. Days like this should last and last. I have the funnest times doing the simplest things. I'm in such a happy place that I actually stopped and thought about it. I'm happier this way, I really am.
I hate that my sleeping schedule has changed yet again thanks spring break! The beach was insane. I don't know how people do it. They're a bunch of crazies!

I'm glad it's Sunday, looking forward to church, even to start the new week.I must got to sleep so I won't be so tired!

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Facebook Sucks.

I forgot how exhausting Facebook could be. After hanging out with my cousin I decided to reactivate it so we could still keep in touch with out having to text/call and frankly everyone uses Facebook as communication I felt out of the loop so much not knowing what was going on which is so so sad. I really enjoyed my time away from Facebook. It brought me closer to my friends and it was just so peaceful. Apparently I had an account with my old email address and decided to stick to that one since it has fewer friends, fewer pictures. Ugh is it exhausting.
I already feel like deleting them both again but everyone just seems so happy that I'm back!? What am I to do? It's not like I'm going to post my personal life.

This is already just ridiculously on my nerves.

Eh, at least I can play scrabble :)

On a positive note, today was awesome, church was awesome, opened my eyes like always, that's what god does. Hanging with my family and cousin was awesome and I just really enjoyed today and tomorrow will be great too. Can't wait for the weekend!!!

Just needed to vent.. I'm glad it's off my chest.

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speak to the heart, love.

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